A love story that offers hope

Dementia Engagement and Development Manager Ali Thornton-Dean reviews Caring for Janet by Commissioner Robert Street.

Reading this book was not only a privilege and blessing, but also a reminder of how important and vital a role we play when caring for our loved ones living with dementia. Bob takes the reader on his and Janet’s journey through dementia with an honest and open narrative.

It felt like I was reading the greatest of love stories: through every page you cannot help but hear the love that Bob has for his beloved wife, Janet. Bob beautifully explains who Janet is, not was, and who she remains to be, despite the challenges of dementia and the changes this has brought to her life. Janet cared for Bob unswervingly for so many years, and Bob’s open and honest telling of how he now cares for Janet feels like the roles of their love and care for one another are beautifully entwined, despite the harsh realities that dementia can bring.

Bob brings the reality of dementia alive, highlighting his need for others to support him and Janet on their journey; if you are a caregiver, I pray you hear the thanksgiving that is given for you as you play a part in helping others survive the journey of dementia.

Whether you are a carer for someone you love living with dementia, or as yet an onlooker witnessing other people’s lives that have been changed by dementia, I recommend you read this cover to cover. It is full of insight into what person-centred care truly looks like, outlining the practicalities, including the financial elements. Bob helpfully takes the reader through the different stages of Janet’s dementia journey, from the first signs that something was changing to the later stages of living with dementia. This love story offers hope to all of us who care for others. It is a story in which we hear of a couple, in love with each other but in love with their Lord, Jesus Christ. Bob uses the words ‘we have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back’, and this theme is echoed throughout each and every page.

I thank Bob for sharing his heart, his ministry and his and Janet’s story.

Bob uses his skill at writing to draw a picture of Janet, her gifts and skills, her life before and during dementia. You are able to build a picture of this loving wife and mother, a woman of God and faith who still remains who she was created to be, with a shift from being the ‘provider’ to the ‘provided for’ – in the words of Bob – and with her identity in Christ unchanged.

Bob is not only Janet’s husband and carer but also her greatest advocate. In recent years, within the world of dementia research and teaching, we have heard much of the term ‘living well with dementia’ and a shift is changing the currents of research to advocate for a ‘living positively’ approach. Caring for Janet has affirmed me in the way I cared for my own parents and brother, who lived with dementia before they died, with a living positively approach.

On behalf of all who will read this book and be encouraged, affirmed and challenged, I thank Bob for sharing his heart, his ministry and his and Janet’s story.

Each goodbye you hear through these pages – whether that be the last goodbye of being in worship together, the last goodbye of visiting the seaside or the last goodbye of hearing someone’s voice – is laced with the beauty of thanksgiving to God.