Luke 10: Take time

Moments in quiet reflection are time well spent, says Major Marjory Parrott.

Key texts

• Luke 10:38-42 

As a former Goodwill officer, I have always identified with Martha. I feel sorry for her, as her hard work and best intentions were belittled. I also imagine Mary sitting coyly and smugly at Jesus’ feet, basking in his affirmation. Yet this is not the message of our study passage.

Pause and reflect

• Which sister do you identify with?

In his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, Gary Chapman explains how different people give and receive love in different ways: through acts of service, gift-giving, quality time, words of affirmation and physical touch. The challenge comes when the giver’s preferred love language is not the one that the recipient needs. At those times, true love is seen in adapting.

My guess is that Martha’s love language was acts of service and Mary’s was quality time. What Jesus needed right then was the presence – and not the presents – of his friends. Perhaps that was fortunate for Mary, or perhaps she was sensitive enough to figure that out.

Pause and reflect

• What is your preferred love language? 
• Are you willing to adapt to meet others’ needs?

What motivated Martha’s actions? Why might she have chosen to act rather than listen? Although Martha may have wanted to be the perfect host, was there something there about not wanting Jesus to see the worst bits? Did the house and the food have to be perfect because Jesus was the perfect guest?

It’s only natural to want to make an effort and give our best to the one we love. However, was Mary fearful of not being accepted if everything was not presentable? Was she even trying to keep Jesus at a distance by not allowing him to see the ‘real’ Mary and Martha?

Sometimes, we’re motivated not so much by love but by the desire to present ourselves as ‘just right’ before God. We hope that he will be impressed by our busyness for him. We fear to come before him just as we are because we don’t think we are enough.

Unless we reach a point of saying – as we would to good friends – ‘you’ll have to take me as you find me’, we’re unlikely to discover that he wants to do just that. Until we reach that point, we’re unlikely to relax enough to choose to hear what he has to say.

For Jesus, the relaxing place appears to have been Mary and Martha’s house. Except for the time he raised their brother, Lazarus, from the dead, this home seems to have been somewhere where no demands were placed upon Jesus and he could simply relax.

Pause and reflect

• Do you have somewhere to relax and be yourself?

Unfortunately, if someone is bustling around, doing the housework and banging pots and pans, it can be somewhat harder to relax. Indeed, you might feel guilty for even trying to do so. Is it possible that this was happening to Jesus? Seen in that light, Martha’s actions no longer appear selfless but selfish. Having a sparkling home and delightful food might have made Martha feel better, but it was at the cost of compassion to her friend. In that case, it was a good thing Mary understood that what Jesus needed right then was someone to listen to him.

Pause and reflect

• Sometimes our service is motivated by what we want rather than by what is needed by those we are serving. How can you redress the balance or make sure this doesn’t happen?

Note that Jesus said Mary chose what was better, not what was easier. We can be tempted to think that, because listening was not physically strenuous, Mary was being lazy. Perhaps the truth is that Mary recognised that Jesus was worth listening to and that he should be the focus of their attention, not the dinner that needed preparing or the floor that needed sweeping.

Let’s be honest: unless a house were in a really bad way, our focus would be on the person, not the dust motes.

We know what Mary didn’t know – that Jesus’ time on Earth was limited. Even if she thought that she might have more occasions to listen to Jesus, she chose, right then, to listen to him and to learn from him as much as she could.

Pause and reflect

• In our frantic world, do we prioritise choosing to listen to Jesus?

It can be hard to take time to sit at the feet of Jesus. However, when the opportunity presents itself and we take it, Jesus reveals himself to us. Sometimes, all he needs is for us to stop whizzing around – even if only for a short while – so that he can speak to and with us.

On the occasions that I’ve chosen to just sit with him I’ve been amazed at how much he had to say. This does not belittle our busyness but it does set it in its rightful place. Some of us might love to sit at Jesus’ feet, yet the demands and stresses of life prevent that happening. The challenge, then, is not to feel guilty but to ensure that we still listen out for what Jesus has to say – even if we must listen harder for his voice above the din.

Pause and reflect

• Find time just to sit with Jesus. Even in the busiest times, how might we better tune into his voice?
• How might we become more receptive and allow him to work through us?