Hidden to whole: A deeper connection with God

As we reflect on hidden joy this Lent, Major Paula Haylett (Thirsk) speaks to Major Lynne Shaw her pilgrimage experience.

The season of Lent is an opportunity to immerse ourselves, not only in the journey of Jesus in following his calling but also in God’s call to us and the journey we take with God. If we miss God’s presence because we’re distracted, we can lose our way or our sense of joy. Lent invites us to refocus our attention, to respond, as Major Paula Haylett (Thirsk) says, ‘to something deeper’.

The practice of pilgrimage embodies our journeying with God and can be grounded in following in the footsteps of another. Or it can simply be about discovering God in a new way. Taking time to do this might need planning, and you might need to travel as lightly as possible.

Major Paula describes her own experience: ‘I felt the call to silence and solitude. I’d already learnt to love the rural through moving to a rural appointment; I’d learnt to sense the presence of God much more. It all seemed to play together; I was a round peg in a round hole.

‘I very much sense the presence of God when I’m walking, because I’m not distracted. I’m looking and smelling and hearing – a whole sensory experience. It had become part of my daily life. The call to pilgrimage was something that built on that and, when I had the opportunity for sabbatical, I thought about how I wanted that to look.

‘I sensed I wanted to walk an ancient path, because there’s wisdom in that. “Look; ask for the ancient paths” (Jeremiah 6:16). So I looked at all the possibilities. I’d never walked much more than four miles and I didn’t have a clue if I could do this. I was completely out of my comfort zone, but that’s something I wanted to experience, to be more reliant on God and to understand his complete provision for me.

Before undertaking her pilgrimage on St Margaret’s Way, from Edinburgh to St Andrews, Major Paula did several day pilgrimages to ancient sites such as York Minster and Durham Cathedral.

She explains: ‘It was such a joy that, when I started my main pilgrimage, I knew I was going to really benefit from it.’

Thanks to a friend’s offer of his camper van, and her husband’s driving, Major Paula found she could walk freely, which was a real blessing. Her main aim was to spend more time with God without other distractions: ‘I didn’t know where the spiritual journey would take me but I was happy with that. I’m very much a pioneer. I love to adventure, to go to places I’ve not been before. It means you’re stepping into the unknown – I didn’t want to go into safe or familiar territory. I thought that would strengthen my faith, which it absolutely did.

‘I wondered how I would manage when all my comforts were removed. And with a meet point to get to at the end of each day, I had no choice but to keep going. There was nobody there to rely on apart from God and me. I wanted to develop a sense of resilience, and to trust God more.’

Major Paula’s pilgrimage not only strengthened her faith, and her awareness of and connection to God, it also helped develop her prayer life and change her perspective on worship.

‘In terms of prayer,’ she shared, ‘I’ve found the process of movement is quite profound: the process of walking and finding a rhythm. I wasn’t really thinking about anything; it was like a meditative state – I was in the zone with God and creation. I felt so connected to the whole of creation; I could see how it was telling the glory of God.

‘Getting into that zone, I noticed I was using all my senses, and my days became different. A day of smells. A day of hope. There was one day where I kept seeing the word “hope” everywhere and another day where the wind blew me along a deserted beach as I danced to worship music.

‘Can God send birds out of trees to lead the way, when I’m afraid? Yes, he can! Can God put a song I haven’t looked for in my earbuds, when I’m terrified because the next part seems impossible? Yes, he can!

‘It was a whole different experience of worship. It was such a freedom!’